January 2, 2004

• so it’s another fucking new year…

  
  

  

  
  

  looking back at the year i think i’ll pass in wanting to know if 2004 will be any better. last year i had some hopes for the year, but then the year just started dragging till finally i just said screw this year. so i’ll be saying screw 2004 right now, cause i don’t want to pretend like the years are going to miraculously change; like my father would quite his drama games; that my ship doesn’t have to go to iraq in 2 weeks; that i’ve got to wait a little longer for the aschool for my job, plus retake that stupid asvab test. it’s a fucking new year. what’s going to change that i don’t already know about? i would love for a miracle to come and change the start of my fucking new year. NO EXPECTATIONS FOR THIS YEAR. no thank you. no resolutions, because then i’ll just get pissed off if i brake one of them. i know that i’ve gained weight this last year, and that this year i need to start working out again. and i know that i gots to start working on waking my ass up in the morning on my own, so that way when there’s those occasions (like new years eve when i worked till the afternoon) where someone’s not going to be there for me, and whoops, i’m a half hour late to work. begin to be aware of how much fucking money i spend in two weeks – aka save money. so let me ask you this?… why make resolutions on these things when it’s been really hard trying to break these habits in the past? why set myself to a possibly dissapointment here?

  
  

  

  
  

  last night i wasn’t all keen into going to that bar in long beach with my sisters. there was too many drunk stupid buffoons everywhere, pissing me off, a few bands that played nothing but 80′s songs, and then i wasn’t in a good mood to begin with for a “prom new years party”. it was one of those nights where i was just standing there without a care, minus getting pissed off when some drunk bumps into me and makes me spill my Guinness. my sisters were a little on my case last night whenever they saw that i wasn’t having a good time. so i just decided to have a lot to drink last night (mgd, guinness, coke&rum, adious, and a shot of baileys) and to just dance mother fucker, dance.

  
  

  

  
  

  what i will not leave behind or forget about 2003…

  
  

  lord of the rings: return of the king. jude law naked in cold mountain. tori amos’ new albumn. when i told dad most of my feelings and then hanging up on him (even though i felt guilty for hanging up on him, it still felt really good). making so much money, and then spending practically all of it during each pay checks (2 weeks time). my 16 year of dog that i so loved tha died on the day that i graduated from bootcamp. going to bahrain, australia, and hawaii. seeing my aunts and cousins from washington (or as my grandfather diligently puts it, wash-engton). spending most of all this years holidays and birthdays with my family. and just spending time with my family and the small cluster of friends that i have left in upland – my old friends.

  • 1:46 am
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